As some of you know, and others of you no doubt have surmised, I am a big fan of comic books. In fact writing for comics is my second career choice in life. Because of this I really enjoy the creative exercises involved in making a new hero or villain. Most of the things I come up with never come to fruition in my head (or in CoH/V) and other characters I have made, or seen, have been expanded or changed to fall into my own comic book universe. My universe however is a tad . . . harsh. I am, frankly, unforgiving of my heroes. When people die they really die and they really stay that way. This leads to a rather serious mindset when it comes to my primary universe. However, I like messing around as well. Making silly ideas, crazy characters; grocery store heroes that throw artichoke hand grenades pop up almost as often as serious characters like ThresherShark and Prometheus. Often I fiddle around with silly ideas for a while and then forget all about them. This time however, things were a tad different; for some reason a recent group of heroes has stuck. I feel compelled to write them out, detail their powers, and share who they. It’s kind of weird. . .
I think part of the problem is at the same time I came up with these heroes I also figured I had to many silly ideas and was going to need to share them someplace so if I ever did make it in comics I was going to do two sets: the main world, which is a more serious minded sort of comic book universe (alla DC and Marvel) and then a second universe for Pulp Comics that takes its mindset from things like Flaming Carrot Head et all. So without further ado I would like to present you, the readers at home, with one of the main super groups of Pulp Earth:
G.S. leads the Crude Metals on the field and is one of the only members who can bring the entire team together united in a single goal. He tends to use bad analogies and tries to appeal on the “buddy” level but his aloof nature and standoffishness make him little more than a prick in shining armor. Still unite them he does albeit mostly in common hatred for him. Despite the rest of the metals’ dislike of him they recognize in him the ability to make the tough decisions and many of the qualities necessary for leading such a diverse group.
Brazen is second in command of the Crude Metals. He lacks many of G.S’s leadership qualities but he makes up for them in friendliness; sometimes he’s a little too friendly in fact. To say that Brazen is forward is like saying Bacon tastes good. He’s always the first into combat, the first to rise, and the last to go to bed. He is loud, obnoxious, and stubborn beyond belief. That said you can’t help but like him because the instant he sees you he makes you feel like a long lost best friend. He has a great memory for faces and names, always remembers what your favorite drink is, and never forgets a birthday. This overt friendliness earned him the second spot in the crew but it also tends to cause trouble, like I say, he’s REALLY forward.
Copper is the tactical head of the group. The only one with previous combat experience the group relies on him to plan out their encounters for him. He is also the only member of the group that has experience and familiarity with the law so G.S. often picks his brain for information to aid in the Crude Metals fight against crime. Copper is an essential part of the team unfortunately he also tends to be toxic. Flipping between friendly and helpful to maniacal and oppressive his powers make him an asset to the team but they also increase the extremes of personality that he switches between.
Pig Iron is the muscle of the group. Stronger than any two other members of the Crude Metals, he serves as the groups backbone. He was the first member of the Metals, and all new members must first be Okayed by him. He recognizes his own weakness however and when G.S. was recruited he stepped down as leader, taking, instead, a back-up role. Despite stepping down he is still the anvil upon which all the other Metals are forged and while simple minded he is no fool and once set on a course of action it is very difficult to sway him.
Fool’s Gold is nobodies fool, or so he likes to think. Valued for bringing an overly complex view point to the team he really merely functions as a sounding board. The rest of the team bounce ideas off of him to see how well they stick. F.G. tends to complicate beyond reason anything he hears however and so whatever advise he may offer tends to be simplified in actual execution. Despite his outlook his conspiracy theories often end up being true and, as the detective in the group, he actually quite frequently finds out who did it, how and why, albeit it in a ridiculously circuitous route.
Bismuth is the most laid back member of the group. It might have something to do with his size, or it could hearken back to his family life, or maybe it’s just a deep set personality trait. Whatever it is this stoical hero can diffuse almost any situation and his relax demeanor keeps the whole group in line. Where otherwise potentially toxic team ups might go terribly wrong merely adding Bismuth to the group seems to change the whole nature of the group, helping them to relax and get the serious business of heroing done.
Indium stands out as one of the few non-melee centric heroes in the Crude Metals. Her soft voice belays her strength of character. You can bend Indium all you want but she will never break. Indeed in the few times she has been captured by enemies and they have tortured her all their work seemed to only increase her resolve and make her that much more dangerous.
Gallium is the lone wolf of the group. He had no place to call home until the Crude Metals brought him in, and that’s just the way he likes it. Perhaps the most durable of the Metals Gallium is accustomed to working on his own and even while running with a team he tends to branch off and do his own thing. “You leave me alone and I won’t hurt you” seems to be his modus opperandi. Despite being a loner he brings a lot to the team and both G.S. and Pig Iron view him as an invaluable asset. Gallium’s dark and hidden past makes him hesitant to make friends but he counts a few members of the Metals as true friends who he relies and confides in.
Manganese is the only import to the almost all American team. Deposed ruler from a now non existent African country his primary goal in life is to rebuild his land. Until that happens he has found a home in the Metals and hopes to use their influence to gain influence in the political realm, gaining the aide of
Brazen is a forward thinking, forward moving hero. He spits deadly spines out, can regenerate, and can leap across
Copper has enhanced strength, can shoot lasers, as well as various non lethal means of capture including web grenades, flash bangs, smoke bombs, caltrops, and nets. He can fly at almost 100 miles and hour, and can deflect small arms fire all thanks to an experimental police suit that was developed to help the police fight Super Metas.
Pig Iron is living metal. "Made of Iron" (tm) through and through his bones don’t break, his sinews can’t tear, even his heart beats with a ringing instead of a thump. He could probably move the earth if he had a place to stand when he picked it up, and nothing short of extreme heat seems to bother him.
Fool’s Gold can stretch and bend his mind and body in ways that most contortionists would find ungodly. He has twice been accused of being a witch and has escaped many a confinement by stretching himself thin under a door, or simply reaching for the keys twenty feet away. It is unclear how Fool’s Gold got his powers.
Bismuth seems to have a small mix of many powers. He has the strength of six men, can leap almost twenty feet into the air. He can outrun a race horse, if it has a jockey weighing it down, and he can take a beating from a middleweight boxing champion and not even wince. More than anything else however Bismuth is completely immune to corrosion, be it physical or mental. No one yet has managed to corrupt him, despite people trying, and acid is even less effective against him than a glancing blow from a great-grandmother’s umbrella. As near as anyone can tell Bismuth was born with these abilities.
Indium has super sonic screams that can tear down buildings and deafen dead people. The angrier she gets the more powerful, and dangerous her screams become. That being said she can’t take much of a beating and prefers to stay in the back of the group, waaaay in the back. Her powers appeared when she hit puberty and her latent mutant abilities kicked in.
Gallium, like Brazen, can regenerate. He can also shroud his fists in dark shadows, bringing all the pain of his past down on his enemies in crushing blows. It is unclear how Gallium got his powers, however, significant scaring on his chest, arms and legs, leads the rest of the Metals to believe he did not always have them.
Manganese can control the magnetic fields found through this earth, though he lacks the fine control to force a person to do his bidding, he can pick up and move a bridge without much effort, and can even make the sun set faster by rotating the earth a little quicker.